Saturday, June 24, 2006

I thought.

Just when I thought it was time to come to some sort of conclusion, things changed. I am still waiting for something else to happen. However, it came to me the other day, as I was biking home, uphill, on my one-speed Schwinn, from seeing Mission Impossible III, and it was 1:30 in the morning, that it is me that decides my destiny. Silly really. That it even seemed like a revelation at the time. It also occurred to me that the things that I've been saying to teenagers for the past 6 years are the same things that I should be saying to myself. Actions speak louder than words. Stuff that you and I know, feel, sense, describe, know. But without doing any of those things they are worthless. Not to say that I would think of myself or anyone else as worthless if they didn't act on the very things that they are talking about. But the sentiment is one that appeals to me.
Now. I set out to perform something back in January of this year, and once I stopped just a little, I seemed to have stopped for sure. Silly me. This is what I want to be doing. Whether the prose is being read or not, for the time being. In order for it to happen I need to stand my ground and just make it so. Words seem choppy in the middle of the night.
It is with certainty that I remark. My only wisdom is that which befalls upon itself the tide that changes with time and knows not when to start, but when to stop.

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